Anticipation

Anticipation is such an interesting feeling.
Sometimes it is something that is even more exciting then what you feel when you actually get to the event you are anticipating.
It is something that can feel good and happy or nervous and scary depending on what it is you are anticipating.
In some ways it is easier when you have a definite time frame to work with rather than waiting for an event that you know will eventually happen or might happen but you do not know when.
Here are the things I am anticipating at the moment:

• Jim will get a job. I don't know when or where, but each place he applies or interview sets my mind to whirling about how it might be should he get that job.
• The state gifted conference. I am going tomorrow for the main conference day. I am presenting which is a little nerve racking...not so much for the having to stand in front of people and talk, but more for the "have I remembered everything", "will I remember everything that I wanted to say and that is important to say", and have I got enough handouts (closely followed by the...please, oh please let at least one person come to my session). Also, it is highly likely I will see people I know but haven't seen for a while. So that is kind of exciting and perhaps makes me a little giddy about it.
• Monday I get my comps questions. I have a week to prepare to go sit and write. I have to organize my ideas and memorize my citations in that week between seeing and writing. I have done virtually nothing to prepare myself prior to actually getting the questions....well, that is not quite true. I have thought a little bit about where my notes and resources from my past classes are. I am hoping that I can really focus my preparation once I get my questions. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. This is big moment. I know so much more now then I did before and I think I'll be fine, but I get two tries to pass these and if I don't then no PhD for me. As I said...a little nerve racking but also exciting to think about being at this mile marker.
• Dissertation. Part of me says don't worry too much about it until you pass comps. Part of me says that I should have started writing the first three chapters a year ago.

Anticipation is just a strange beast and he lives in me. I'm trying not to let him run wild too much.