Valdemart

Ok so Peter's wife Traci alludes to Wal-mart as being Voldemort because one time their greeter was not in place and lied and said he was when she came in trying to return something and they accused her of shoplifting. It got cleared up but it left a scar.
I am not fond of W-mart but I do use it and especially now I go to it because it is close to where the RV is parked and sometimes it is just easier to do everything in one stop.
Everything in one stop is what I was trying to do yesterday. The boys and I needed haircuts and we had some items to buy. I stopped first thing and got us signed up for haircuts. The lady said it would be about 20 minutes and we could go walk around if we wanted to. Since we had some shopping to do we headed out and I thought there was a minute possibility that we could actually get it done.
First we headed to the bakery area to get cookies (otherwise the boys will badger me about getting cookies while we shop...yes they have me trained on that account). We had to wait for a bit for the lady to notice us because she was cleaning something in the sink and was completely oblivious. Then with cookies in hand we headed to get the rest of the materials we need. I keep thinking the whole time that there is some reason I thought that I needed to be at W-mart and not just a grocery store, but of course I can't remember why and keep thinking that I really need to start writing these things down.
When we have everything I can remember (and of course a few things we don't really need) we head for the check-out and as usual have to wait and wait and wait. I am working on getting the boys to stay with me because they don't like to be strapped in the cart so I have to constantly keep on them to stay out of all of the stuff around. Andy spotted a whole display of gift cards and managed to dump the entire pile of Elmo gift cards before we made it to the register.
So we get back to the hair cutting place about 25 minutes after I signed us in. Now we did not miss our turn and are in fact next, but we end up waiting for another 15+ minutes. Apparently she was not good at estimating time. Of course right next door to the hair place is a little "game" area with video games and such. The boys keep trying to get out of the cart to go to this room or they are pestering me about going to the room.
My boys are usually very good about hair cuts. For some reason this time they both wanted me to go first but the lady had already set up the chair for a small child. Andy goes first and he did pretty well. The lady asked me how I wanted it cut and I resisted the urge to just say "shorter." I was thinking "it's a 2 year old boy's hair...how many styles are there...can you not see what was done with it before." I would kind of tell that the lady was not that used to cutting kids hair but we get through the first haircut. Andy starts to get fidgety toward the end and the lady is trying to dry the little bit of his hair that is wet. Now I realize that it was chilly out that day, but by the time we get through 2 more haircuts I am positive that Andy's hair will be dry...just let the kid out of the chair. This entire time Doug has been in the cart and I have to keep getting on him about playing with the shampoo bottles on the shelf so I have moved the cart out of reach of all the shelves.
Then it is Doug's turn. Andy (my climber) is alternating between complaining, or trying to climb out of the cart. While he is in the cart he is repeatedly (albeit accidentally) stepping on the sweet rolls we just purchased. During Doug's haircut Jim calls and wants me to get him some cash...which of course I had already done my shopping and would have to go back into the store part with the dilemma of what to do with the bags I have already paid for...do I have to take them out to the car first? Jo is also starting to get fussy so I take her out of her car seat and immediately remember the item that I had forgotten about....I lost an earring recently and needed to go get another one which I only remember now because Jo is pulling on my ear (which probably how I lost an earring in the first place). Then I realize that Jo has a poopy diaper. Well I have been recently just stuffing a couple of the boy's diapers in Jo's bag and taking only the smaller bag in. What I didn't realize this time was that somehow Jo's pack of wipes did not get refilled and that the full pack of wipes is in the car in the boy's bag. So I proceed to change her diaper in the seat section of the shopping cart (so I don't leave me 2 year old alone getting his hair cut) using only one wipe.
Finally it is my turn. I strap Jo back in (which she is upset about) and put both boys in the cart. So while I am getting my hair cut Jo screams the entire time. The boys are fidgety in the cart and keep trying to climb out. A lady thinks they are going to fall out so she proceeds to help them out of the cart and then thinks to ask me if they can be out of the cart. I reply "they're 2...they'll be into everything, I'd rather have them in the cart." (Really I do get comments about how well behaved they are, but we sort of have this threshold for warming up to a place...after that they get curious and my kids are pretty confident...and we are definitely past the threshold time for being at all hesitant in Wal-mart). So at least the lady put the boys back in the cart. Then the stylist seems to think that there will be less complaining if all of the children are closer to me. She wheels the boys closer (which now puts them in reach of shelves again). I move Jo closer but didn't realize how much hair was on my shoulders until I lean over to pick up her car seat and hair clippings come falling down all over her.
So Jo continues to scream, I am hoping that we will be done soon, and the boys are asking about everything (we are in the "what's that" stage). Then Doug picks up a couple of bottles and manages to drop them. Well the bottles were plastic but apparently not very flexible because they each crack and spill their entire contents all over the floor. Then Andy starts to rip into one of the boxes we had purchased and is trying to help himself to a snack.
Finally the haircut is over. In the end she asks me if I want it cut shorter and without even looking (or being able to see since my glasses were off) I say it is fine, I make sure we pay for the bottles we broke (boy there are some expensive hair care products out there) and I try to at least leave her a reasonable tip and I keep apologizing on our way out.
We get home and I inform Jim that he can take care of getting his own *&%^$* cash.